Am I Being Used?

Question: Dear Luise: I was married for 37 years, 19 years ago my wife stopped havin sex with me, we lived together like room mates. we are now divorced. I met a lady and fell in loved she said she was in love also. Somthing happened with one of her grand childern a year old boy, he was crying and no one was home so I went in and picked him up and took him out side. Now my lady friend says I hurt her and she doesn’t love me anymore and she need to get the trust back and then maybe she will lovde me again. But she calls me constantly, and always aske me to help her pay bills, when ever we go out she call her son and his wife to meet us and I wind up paying for the whole fmily’s meals. She saiys if I want her, her Grand kids and son and his family are part og the package. I am retired and I can not afford to support two familya, Am I being used? H.

Answer: Dear H.: Yes, I think you are being used. It’s easy to say that you love someone but actions speak louder than words and you are being treated poorly. I would suggest that you let her know that you are not at all interested in “the package.” Let her know that you are also not interested in an off again/on again relationship and won’t be “hosting” any more dinners out. Change your phone number and move on.

If there is a senior center in your area start going there. The women outnumber the men and you may find a really fine person to share your life with. Blessings, Luise

About Luise Volta

Luise’s long life has brought her to being the great grandmother of four teenagers. Born in 1927, the miles in between her teens and theirs have been full of falling and getting up, learning and growing and then falling and getting up again. A normal, though not simple, process. She has had diverse careers in nursing, teaching preschool, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting and dairy herd testing. She’s lived in the Mid-west, South and West Coast. Luise is married to the love of her life, Val, born in 1911. Their little terrier, “Rosa,” makes most of the major decisions at their house, (or thinks she does).

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