Question: Dear Luise: So this guy went to semi-formal with me. It was when we first started talking…but he started holding my hand and hugging me from behind, and acting like he was my boy. I figured that meant he liked me, or wanted to at least continue talking to me. He walked me out to my car and kissed me and stayed with me the whole time and introduced me to his friends. Then the next day he surprised me and came over, we watched movies and just laid together and shit. But then out of nowhere he just wouldn’t text me, and in school he just acted like my friend. Sometimes he ignores me; sometimes he flirts. I asked him what was going on and he said he didn’t want a girlfriend. I never even mentioned anything about being his girlfriend. Is he gay or what’s going on? I don’t get it. M.
Answer: Dear M.: You might just as well learn right now that it’s impossible to figure out why other people do what they do. Often they don’t even know, themselves. And, if you think about it…we often can’t explain what gong on with us, either.
You got together, he came on strong and then he backed off. I’m not sure what “laid together and shit” means but I think I’d be more cautious in the process of getting to know someone next time. It just makes good sense.
Let him go. His behavior is thoughtless and unkind. Who cares if he’s trying to cover up being scared to death or if he is now focusing on someone else? There are lots more fish in the sea. Blessings, Luise
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