He Says I’m Too Fat For Sex

Question: Dear Luise: My friend, then roommate, now boyfriend and I don’t have sex. He told me he’d never be with a big girl and that if he gives me sex then I won’t feel I have to lose weight cause now I ‘have’ him. So, I’ve lost 60 lbs and he and I have had sex 3 times (when he’s drunk). Now, he’s withholding again ’til I lose 100 more. I always thought if you loved someone, that it shouldn’t matter. I guess I’m wrong. I wouldn’t be turned on either by someone 100 lbs overweight; why should he? It’s just hard to sleep by someone you love and feel so rejected. S.

Answer: Dear S. Good for you for seeing both sides of this issue. And of course it’s hard to deal with.

There are guys who prefer big women…but probably not enough to go around.

There are weight solutions “out there” but I am not well informed about the surgical approach and you have probably tried everything else.

You may want to have your own room if sharing one is torture for you. Always remember that being big isn’t all you are. You are a lot more and you are wonderful! Your guy is well aware of that or you wouldn’t be together. Blessings, Luise

About Luise Volta

Luise’s long life has brought her to being the great grandmother of four teenagers. Born in 1927, the miles in between her teens and theirs have been full of falling and getting up, learning and growing and then falling and getting up again. A normal, though not simple, process. She has had diverse careers in nursing, teaching preschool, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting and dairy herd testing. She’s lived in the Mid-west, South and West Coast. Luise is married to the love of her life, Val, born in 1911. Their little terrier, “Rosa,” makes most of the major decisions at their house, (or thinks she does).

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