Question: Dear Luise: I am so sick of the way my husband thinks everything his mom does, says and probably thinks is beyond compare. I really like her and she likes me and she’s actually pretty tried of it, too. Yet nothing slows down his endless praise and adoration. What can we do? Sally
Answer: Dear Sally: I love this question because it’s refreshing when a mother sees this kind of thing and doesn’t actually encourage it. I’m sure a psychologist could tell you a lot about mothers and sons. Since she was his first love, when does it stop? And what are you…chopped liver, a stand-in, a wanna-be?
Is the guy worth it? I’m guessing that you think he is because you seem to want to fix it, not end it. Well, here’s the bad news…you can’t and she can’t. More bad news, he won’t. The good news is that there are other things about this guy that are redeeming and you’d better start looking in that direction.
This kind of thing can either drive you nuts or take its place in your life as a tiny pebble in your shoe. It’s not a stone that’s crippling you…yet. Don’t give it that kind of power, if you want to stay. You will just make yourself unhappy and it looks like your husband is too far off into “lulu-land” to reconsider.
Thank your lucky stars that your mother-in-law thinks he’s a “gooney-bird”. Bless her heart! Since she’s sincerely on your side, maybe you can elevate her to sainthood with him and then the two of you will have more in common. I’m only half-kidding, it’s a way out. Agree with him. And when you can, work the magic of remembering his strengths and good points. Often. Blessings, Luise