We Have Trust Issues

Question: Dear Luise: I’m in love with my ex. I know he’s still in love with me. He tells me it all the time, promising me things he never does. He doesn’t know how to treat a woman. If a guy doesn’t take you out and if he doesn’t try to make you feel good by doing special things, is it true that he still loves you? Is he cheating? Is it real love? We’ve been together for 3 years. He cant trust me because of past events but I have been a great girlfriend and I try to show him I’ve changed but it seems like nothing’s changed with trust issues. S.

Answer: Dear S.: It doesn’t sound to me like you have much to work with. Many guys get tired of the social scene and the spoil-your-sweetheart scene but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re no longer in love. As you know, being in love and being able to live together can be two different things…if you’re not on the same page. You need compatibility and trust and if you don’t have either, love probably isn’t going to carry you through.

I think if I were you, I would start over with someone new and see if being older, wiser and more accountable doesn’t make a big difference. It’s not the guy’s job to entertain you and make you feel good. That’s your job. Look for a “partner” this time. A partnership is two adults working side-by-side as a team. Blessings, Luise

About Luise Volta

Luise’s long life has brought her to being the great grandmother of four teenagers. Born in 1927, the miles in between her teens and theirs have been full of falling and getting up, learning and growing and then falling and getting up again. A normal, though not simple, process. She has had diverse careers in nursing, teaching preschool, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting and dairy herd testing. She’s lived in the Mid-west, South and West Coast. Luise is married to the love of her life, Val, born in 1911. Their little terrier, “Rosa,” makes most of the major decisions at their house, (or thinks she does).

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