Comments on: Why Won’t He take Me Home http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/ Luise Addresses Your Interests With Wisdom and Love Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:54:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-5200 Luise Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:56:48 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-5200 Dear A. The need for attention may be something you will have to deal with if your guy is working and going to school. Or he may not be the right person for you if you can't reconcile that need. This may not be a good time in his life to try to tend to a committed relationship if he is spread too thin, time-wise. When you can, talk it out. He's not doing anything wrong, he's just not very available. Let him know how you feel, which isn't wrong either. You sound like a mis-match, to me. At least for now. Blessings, Luise Dear A. The need for attention may be something you will have to deal with if your guy is working and going to school. Or he may not be the right person for you if you can’t reconcile that need. This may not be a good time in his life to try to tend to a committed relationship if he is spread too thin, time-wise. When you can, talk it out. He’s not doing anything wrong, he’s just not very available. Let him know how you feel, which isn’t wrong either. You sound like a mis-match, to me. At least for now. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: A. http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-5193 A. Sun, 19 Oct 2008 15:32:17 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-5193 Hi Luise, I've been dating with this guy for almost 11 months and he is 6 years younger than me. He is 26 and I'm 32. He has a busy work schedule and sometimes I cannot tolerate that and sometimes I feel like I'm not important to him. -time degree course. For almost 4 months we haven't seen each other in a physical way. Our house are just 10 minutes apart! But he has been texting me almost almost everyday. I need his attention. We have been secretly dating without telling our collegemates. He celebrated his birthday last week and brought me to his rented house. And he introduced me to his parents (they both came from another town to celebrate his birthday), brothers, sisters. He never asked about my family. Is he not serious? He just promoted to PA to his boss...and is now busy for the new resort opening. I love him so much but I feel like he not really taking me seriously. He always say 'family came first'. What should I do? I'm tired of being ignored. A. Hi Luise,

I’ve been dating with this guy for almost 11 months and he is 6 years younger than me. He is 26 and I’m 32. He has a busy work schedule and sometimes I cannot tolerate that and sometimes I feel like I’m not important to him. -time degree course. For almost 4 months we haven’t seen each other in a physical way. Our house are just 10 minutes apart! But he has been texting me almost almost everyday. I need his attention. We have been secretly dating without telling our collegemates. He celebrated his birthday last week and brought me to his rented house. And he introduced me to his parents (they both came from another town to celebrate his birthday), brothers, sisters. He never asked about my family. Is he not serious? He just promoted to PA to his boss…and is now busy for the new resort opening. I love him so much but I feel like he not really taking me seriously. He always say ‘family came first’. What should I do? I’m tired of being ignored. A.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-5189 Luise Sat, 18 Oct 2008 22:03:57 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-5189 Dear C.: You ask me but you have never asked him? You just assumed it should be different? Please notice that you haven't brought him into your family or life, either. There is much that is unspoken and unaddressed between you, isn't there? Isn't is possible that both of you are afraid that your families would be less than thrilled? If you want more, then you need to be courageous enough to directly address the age difference and the race difference with him and come to a mutual resolution. It looks to me like the two of you are skating around both issues. Blessings, Luise Dear C.: You ask me but you have never asked him? You just assumed it should be different? Please notice that you haven’t brought him into your family or life, either. There is much that is unspoken and unaddressed between you, isn’t there? Isn’t is possible that both of you are afraid that your families would be less than thrilled? If you want more, then you need to be courageous enough to directly address the age difference and the race difference with him and come to a mutual resolution. It looks to me like the two of you are skating around both issues. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: C http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-5188 C Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:47:51 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-5188 I have been dating a guy for 2 years now. I have known him for 4. He is 13 years younger than me. He is black and I am white. When we started dating I was ending a 24 year marriage. I am only 44. He has never been married. He has never been to my house except to drive me home from the hospital when I was in a car accident. He has only met my sister once. He has never met my oldest son. I have never met any of his family. He says he loves me like he has never loved anyone before. Why won't he let me meet his family? I have in truth never asked, but I didn't think I needed to. People who know us, say that even when we are apart, they can tell that we are thinking about each other. When we are together, people say we ignore everyone else and we are alone in our own world. I want to me more to his than just the girl he sleeps with and his good night phone call. C. I have been dating a guy for 2 years now. I have known him for 4. He is 13 years younger than me. He is black and I am white. When we started dating I was ending a 24 year marriage. I am only 44. He has never been married. He has never been to my house except to drive me home from the hospital when I was in a car accident. He has only met my sister once. He has never met my oldest son. I have never met any of his family. He says he loves me like he has never loved anyone before. Why won’t he let me meet his family? I have in truth never asked, but I didn’t think I needed to. People who know us, say that even when we are apart, they can tell that we are thinking about each other. When we are together, people say we ignore everyone else and we are alone in our own world. I want to me more to his than just the girl he sleeps with and his good night phone call. C.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-4966 Luise Sat, 30 Aug 2008 22:04:37 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-4966 Dear J. There can be some pretty strong chemistry between a mother and even a grown son but when she tells him that he can't date, I'd call it pathology. There's nothing you can do because it's not about you. You are being treated shabbily and after all you have been through to be together, it's a darn shame. I think I would tell him that I was choosing sanity and move on. Maybe, just maybe, he might make some much needed changes...but don't count on it. Blessings, Luise Dear J. There can be some pretty strong chemistry between a mother and even a grown son but when she tells him that he can’t date, I’d call it pathology. There’s nothing you can do because it’s not about you. You are being treated shabbily and after all you have been through to be together, it’s a darn shame. I think I would tell him that I was choosing sanity and move on.
Maybe, just maybe, he might make some much needed changes…but don’t count on it. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: J. http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-4965 J. Sat, 30 Aug 2008 19:16:06 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-4965 I am 40yrs old and I have been dating a 56yr old guy for the past 3 yrs. When we met,we both were married and decided we wanted to be together. We both are now separated. Four months ago this guy had some health problems, so his mom move across country to take care of him, (since he no longer had a woman in the house.) He says he can't tell his mom that we have been dating because she will not accept him dating. He says he wants his mom to go back home so he can go on with his life. He is now in counseling and we don't communicate like before. What is this guy's deal. We now have a 3 year relationship that was so loving that is falling apart. J. I am 40yrs old and I have been dating a 56yr old guy for the past 3 yrs. When we met,we both were married and decided we wanted to be together. We both are now separated. Four months ago this guy had some health problems, so his mom move across country to take care of him, (since he no longer had a woman in the house.) He says he can’t tell his mom that we have been dating because she will not accept him dating. He says he wants his mom to go back home so he can go on with his life. He is now in counseling and we don’t communicate like before. What is this guy’s deal. We now have a 3 year relationship that was so loving that is falling apart. J.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-710 Luise Mon, 21 Aug 2006 03:10:51 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-710 Dear Charise: There's no time like the present to start doing some serious communicating with your guy. Three years is a long time to not be able to get down to the nitty-gritty...but then some couples never do. I wouldn't advise it. Tell him you are puzzled by his sharing pictures but not people and would really like to meet the people you have heard so much about. If he tried to put him off let him know that you need to know why. Blessings, Luise Dear Charise: There’s no time like the present to start doing some serious communicating with your guy. Three years is a long time to not be able to get down to the nitty-gritty…but then some couples never do. I wouldn’t advise it. Tell him you are puzzled by his sharing pictures but not people and would really like to meet the people you have heard so much about. If he tried to put him off let him know that you need to know why. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: Charise http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-707 Charise Sun, 20 Aug 2006 01:59:59 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-707 I been dating this guy for three years. His mother and I have been friends for 10 years. I met him through his mother. I have introduced him to some of my friends, but I have not met any of his friends. He talks about his friends all the time and shows me pictures of them. What does this mean? I been dating this guy for three years. His mother and I have been friends for 10 years. I met him through his mother. I have introduced him to some of my friends, but I have not met any of his friends. He talks about his friends all the time and shows me pictures of them. What does this mean?

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-674 Luise Sat, 29 Jul 2006 23:51:48 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-674 Answer: Dear Sheree: Well it sounds like you may need to work on your one-on-one communication skills if an "unexpected and uncomfortable" reference to marrying came via interacting with a third party. You seem to be working up to a stand-oof on something that should be a lovely experience...namely making a commitment. If you can't do that without meeting his family, then so be it. Be sure, however. Blessings, Luise Answer: Dear Sheree: Well it sounds like you may need to work on your one-on-one communication skills if an “unexpected and uncomfortable” reference to marrying came via interacting with a third party. You seem to be working up to a stand-oof on something that should be a lovely experience…namely making a commitment. If you can’t do that without meeting his family, then so be it. Be sure, however. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: Sheree http://www.momresponds.com/162/avoiding-introductions/#comment-649 Sheree Tue, 18 Jul 2006 21:34:11 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=162#comment-649 I've been with my boyfriend for one year, and he hasn't introduced me to his parents because he says they are overbearing and that his parents want him to concentrate on building his business. He's 27, and last night mentioned to our friends (during an unexpected and uncomfortable conversation) that he has thought of marrying me. That won't happen until I meet his family - and I really want to meet them. But it's not happening any time soon. Any advice? I’ve been with my boyfriend for one year, and he hasn’t introduced me to his parents because he says they are overbearing and that his parents want him to concentrate on building his business. He’s 27, and last night mentioned to our friends (during an unexpected and uncomfortable conversation) that he has thought of marrying me. That won’t happen until I meet his family - and I really want to meet them. But it’s not happening any time soon. Any advice?

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