Question: Dear Luise: I will be starting the sixth grade soon. Down the street from me, lives a boy that I have loved since we were both really little. He is two years older than I am. We have always known we going to grow up and get married and so have our parents. We even had a pretend wedding, When he went to camp, he made a Mickey Mouse with a braided tail for me and when I got miniature cooking dishes for Christmas, he built me a cupboard. Then this last year, he went to Junior High for the seventh grade. When I went over to play and knocked on the back door, he went out the front door, and he had his brother tell me he wasn’t home. It’s the girls. They have changed already and I haven’t. I don’t think I will ever get over this. It’s not a joke, it’s not childish, and I’m broken-hearted. Help me. Teresa
Answer: Dear Teresa: I believe you. It is so easy to think that what someone else is going through is something unimportant, and to make fun of that person. I hope as you continue to grow that you will remember this and never do that to anyone else. Everyone needs to be listened to and respected, not laughed at.
There is a part of you that may never forget the disappointment and the loss of what was so very solid and permanent in your eyes. From what you say, he saw it the same way you did for a long time.
You have had a year to get used to this and it’s probably been an awful year. Once you also start to change, and you will, I wonder if he will decide again that you are the greatest. If that happens, how might you react? Is he really the boy you thought he was or has he shown you some very shallow and unreliable sides of himself. Would you want to have him be the head of your house after another decade or so?
I suggest that you let yourself look toward the day when you will meet another boy who is made of stronger stuff. I’m sure you have felt really lonely after being dropped and then misunderstood. Well, here’s one friend who says that there are better days ahead, and I want you to write to me again when they come your way. I am guaranteeing that they will, right here on my web site for everyone to see! Blessings, Luise
i just started high school and I was dating someone and he dumped me. I loved him so much and I was trashed when he dumped me. I’m still not over him and its been 3 months!!
Dear B.: There are people out therr who are very, very careful not to lose their hearts to another. They keep their distance, emotionlly, and play it safe. The down side to that attitude is that they lose all of the highs. Loving someone and being loved back can be incredible, as you found out. Yes, things can happen. In your case, the guy moved on, but you know how great it was while it lasted and what you are looking for in the future. We all recover. It just feels like we never will. Blessings, Luise