Just my 2c of course, but could it possibly be that this is still just too hard for your MIL to deal with? I mean, her loss is still very raw to her too, a year is not very long, perhaps she is just worried about herself – and that if she gets too involved in your own grief it may re-ignite hers?

Perhaps she just feels so helpless following the loss of her husband that she feels unable to help anyone else.

To be honest the way she completely avoided the situation sounds more like she was finding it too hard to deal with herself than that she was being mean to you. I agree with your family in that it IS her problem, however I don’t feel its one you should be angry at her for.

Again, this is just my opinion based on what you have said above, but maybe she just is not coping as well as you think, and is still so focused on her own loss that its hard for her to help you with yours as well. No doubt you will find that a year down the line your pain is just as raw and hard to live with, but you just have learned to deal with it a little better.

Try not to feel anger towards her, instead try to understand that you are both going through pain, and that perhaps you can both understand each other a little better as a result. M.