Question: Dear Luise: Please help me find a way to get my Mom to see that she is ruining my life. She doesn’t have a clue what kids my age, (which is 14), eat and drink. She is making a freak out of me by what she is insisting I do. She’s like, ruthless. I’m not allowed to have pop. She won’t let me have prepared foods, or sugar treats. She monitors how much TV I can watch and how much time I use my computer. Living with her is like living in prison. I’ve appealed to my Dad, but he says she knows what she’s doing. I can’t even go to parties. How can I have a life with a Mom like that? Hannah
Answer: Dear Hannah: It sounds like your Mom has decided to buck today’s trends and pass on the practices that many authorities are coming to believe create physical abuse to our bodies. Please don’t think I don’t get how hard it is for you, because I do. At your age, fitting in is everything.
However, if your Mom knows that the things your friends ingest will hurt you physically, isn’t it her job to try to protect you? I know you don’t care what she thinks but could you consider that she cares a lot? Probably degenerative disease, obesity, cancer and early death (to mention just a few) don’t interest you in the least. You can only focus on being part of the scene and being denied that “right”. It’s a tough conflict.
There isn’t much you can do because you still live at home and she is in charge of that home. Since you are stuck there, why not give her a break and do some independent reading and find out how she got off on all of this stuff and where she thinks she’s going with it? What would it cost you? You don’t have to agree with her, but you could at least see that she has your best interest at heart, not torture.
If you were being home-schooled you might be with other adults who agree with her and with other kids who were being similarly raised…instead of trying to function in this vacuum. It’s very clear how alone and unheard you feel. I get it loud and clear.
Why not go to www.mercola.com and read some of the articles about artificial sweeteners and what kinds of pesticides are in grains. Read up on sugar consumption. Did you know that the carbonation in pop is toxic and works your liver overtime? Find out what is in the air you breathe and what you can do about it? Then, in a few short years, (which I know look like forever right now to you), you will be on your own and can make wiser decisions regarding whether you want to blow her program sky-high or maintain it for a better, longer life?
Parental love is not necessarily based on conformity. If understood, her love could be the basis for your own self-love and self-care to come. Blessings, Luise
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